Do you guys like this essay?

[EUR_Zaitsev]

With so many words in the English language, it would be easy for a short, 5-letter word to get overshadowed by the big guys. However, the word "curly" is conspicuous, and rightfully so.
   The word itself is remarkable. To begin with, it is an adjective. The adjective is the most important part of speech. Without adjectives, everything would be the same. There would be no way to tell the difference between anything. For example, Hubert, a man about to partake in a traditional African arranged marriage, would have no idea whether he was to marry the next Audrey Hepburn or the spitting image of Paula Jones.
Another extraordinary characteristic of the word "curly" is its spelling. The first letter is C. In the eloquent words of Cookie Monster, "C is for cookie, that?s good enough for me." Well Cookie Monster, that?s good enough for us, as well.
Moving on, we see an essential component to the World Wide Web. A "URL", or Internet address, is the road to a web page. Without "URLs" email and online pornography would not be possible. Obviously, the fact that "URL" resides in this word points to an underlying theme. "URLs" are important, and therefor so is the word "curly".
Lastly we have the letter Y. Y is a special letter because it represents the all-important question "Why?" If the people of the world asked the question "Why?" more often, the result would surely include world peace and fewer episodes of the XFL. The letters in the word "curly" are also unique because no rearrangement of them makes another word. This fact represents the idea that the word "curly" is distinctive and exceptional. However, there is more meaning in the word "curly" then is revealed by its letters.
   "Curly" is a significant word because it describes the basis of life, DNA. DNA is the genetic information used to sustain the existence of living organisms. Each single strand of the double helix is actually a curly string of deoxyribose, phosphates, and nucleic bases.
   It is also significant because the name "Curly" has been bestowed upon many dramatic characters throughout history. Curly is the most popular and most inventive of The Three Stooges. Curly is the relentless, good-hearted lover of Oklahoma. It is no coincidence that these phenomenal characters are named Curly. These characters must have been named Curly so that the audience, already aware of the wonders of the word "curly", has an initial impression that these characters are great!
   Above all this glamour is the word "curly"?s most common utilization, hair. Curly hair is, of course, the best kind of hair. It adorns the heads of beauties such as Lauryn Hill, Shirley Temple, Julia Roberts, and Hattie Smith. Curly hair is the basis of the eternally a la mode Afro, as well as the type of hair on George Washington?s wig. In addition, curly hair has been proven to catch the attention of most babies. Why is curly hair so wonderful, one might ask? Well, to say the least it is dramatic, unpredictable, dynamic, and exciting. It is a flow of poetry. It is a jungle of magic. When you pull on it, it springs back. And somehow, after repeating the pull-and-spring process 101 times one finds the 102nd time just as intriguing as the first.

[The Ghost of Bondo]

I like my dictionary's definition...having curls...but for those seeking deeper thought on the word that perhaps I hear once a year, your essay is for them.

[kami]

Most useless essay ever... but it's well written and funny so I'm sure you'll get an A for it.

[tasty]

Humor is subjective, but well-written it is not.

BTW you can't write an essay on curly without talking about pubes.

[kami]

Atleast I'd give it an A for innovation. And yeah, he should really bring up the curly nature of pubes.

[EUR_Zaitsev]

Now Now im in the 8th grade and though I may be advanced in cerebration kids in my class would be like "what is pubes"

[BeefyFigure]

That's right, because you flunked 8th grade twice.

[Cossack]

Very useless, I wish the American education system could engage their students into something that takes deeper thought, or something on philisophical value.

[alaric]

I dunno, Coss. Teaching kids how to BS is a valuable life-skill. Especially in College philosophy classes.

[Cossack]

I guess you're right there. BTW Zait you have written it well.

[jn.preciousroy]

It's disjointed, grammatically atrocious, and it has a ridiculous premise.  The best adjective to describe it with (and as we just learned, the adjective is the most important part of speech) would be, quite obviously, sophomoric.

On the other hand... a sophomoric paper in 8th grade ain't half bad.  It's a hell of a lot better than the shit I wrote then.

Alaric, I disagree.  College philosophy papers are about well constructed arguments and precision of language.  Now college English papers... they're BS.  But I could be just saying that because I'm a philosophy major.

And backing up: the adjective the most important part of speech?  Without the verb nothing would happen.  Without the noun nothing would exist.  Without the article we'd all speak English like Chinese.  I'd prefer everything the same over any of those three options.