Title: Metaphor Madness!!! Post by: BFG on September 19, 2005, 08:21:11 pm The following are a selection of metaphors from actual GCSE (its the exams u do over here when your 16) essays!
You might find you need to be a Brit (or very familier with our crazy breed) or at least have a slightly odd sense of humour to enjoy them, but there are some quite unbelievable ones.... yeah well i found them funny ;P His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a tumble dryer. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a lamppost. McMurphy fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a paper bag filled with vegetable soup. Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in thecentre. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left York at 6:36 p.m. travelling at 55 mph, the other from Peterborough at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph. The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the full stop after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met. The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play. The red brick wall was the colour of a brick-red crayon. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut. The door had been forced, as forced as the dialogue during the interview portion of Family Fortunes. The plan was simple, like my brother Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work. Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her chest heaving like a student on 99p-a-pint night. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something. Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter." She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up. It came down the stairs looking very much like something no one had ever seen before. The knife was as sharp as the tone used by Glenda Jackson MP in her first several points of parliamentary procedure made to Robin Cook MP, Leader of the House of Commons, in the House Judiciary Committee hearings on the suspension of Keith Vaz MP. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free cashpoint. The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric fan set on medium. It was a working class tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with their power tools. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a dustcart reversing. She was as easy as the Daily Star crossword. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature British beef. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs. Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a first-generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened. It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall. Title: Re: Metaphor Madness!!! Post by: (SiX)Sheixhundt on September 19, 2005, 08:55:37 pm These are examples form an institutionally applied exam?
scary. Title: Re: Metaphor Madness!!! Post by: KGB on September 20, 2005, 01:26:35 am Some of these kids have wrote good comedy material (classic blackadder stuff in there)
::lol:: Quote He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Just add Baldrick in there somewhere and Bob's your uncleTitle: Re: Metaphor Madness!!! Post by: BFG on September 20, 2005, 01:47:47 am lol definatly... im thinking a lame duck and a cunning plan ;)
Title: Re: Metaphor Madness!!! Post by: spike on September 20, 2005, 02:05:09 am What the fuck are these kids writing about on this exam? I never wrote anything on the sats about people falling 12 stories
The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a lamppost. i actually really like this one, he's got the really beautiful image of the ballerina, then he exposes her as dirty and immoral. I mean, I doubt the kid meant it, but its really not that bad. Title: Re: Metaphor Madness!!! Post by: BFG on September 20, 2005, 02:07:21 am you've got to wonder about the psychological stability of some of the kids don't cha ;) Im guessing these were english lit essays... creative writing... in some cases very creative!!
Title: Re: Metaphor Madness!!! Post by: *DAMN Hazard on September 20, 2005, 04:22:21 am Lets make our own! "This thread is gay like men putting penises in Spikes butthole."
OMG copyright Hazard 2005 Title: Re: Metaphor Madness!!! Post by: BFG on September 20, 2005, 05:25:33 pm I had one for u Hazzard, but i think it would make the ears bleed of some of the younger *DAMN inhabitants.
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