*DAMN R6 Forum

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

If money doesn't grow in trees then why do banks have branches?

Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for your thoughts?" Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"

Or watch a white thing come out a chicken rear and think, "that ought to taste good."

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped buy the police and asked for you license, are you going to be smiling?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

What do you call male ballerinas?

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?

If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?

why does fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

I hate this kind of crap, so I shall solve as many of these as possible.


Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
Because hand tossing pizzas can create pizza doughs of varying sizes, it'd be impossible to have a circular box that every pizza would fit in.

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Yes.

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
To see things from a different angle.

If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
He/she has officers or paramedics in his/her building assist him/her.

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"
People who fed from their mothers' breasts, and saw calves doing the same to their mothers.

Or watch a white thing come out a chicken rear and think, "that ought to taste good."
People who saw animals eating chicken eggs.

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
More than likely, because a lightbulb could not last in the harsh freezing temperatures.

When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped buy the police and asked for you license, are you going to be smiling?
it is common practice to tell people to smile for their pictures.

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
Not unless there was a living person in there besides the driver.

If the professor on Gilligan's island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
It would ruin the plot of the show.

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
That could be considered an obscene gesture and be misinterpretted as asking for oral sex.

If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
It would ruin the plot of the show. That, and he really hated that Roadrunner.

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
Not babies. It is a product for babies.

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
No. I'm not even going to address this, except the line of reasoning is retarded.

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?
Yes. He hates your stinky breath.

You dont say....and all this time i thought...well...nevermind. 

Mellow...

That was funny...damn funny.
gj

im disappointed as HELL about the baby oil thing, you spoiler.

Thought id do my bit to help answer these questions ;)


Q: Can you cry under water?
A: Yes If your kicked in the nuts hard enough

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

If money doesn't grow in trees then why do banks have branches?

Q: Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
A: Its an undercover health inititive. It provides a  complicated puzzle that confuses greedy fat people and thus helps to prevent them from eating so much.

Q:Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for your thoughts?" Where's that extra penny going to?
A: Overheads, tax and inflation, you know how it is!

Q: Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
A: Not if your beautiful... because in heaven all the beautiful people are naked.

Q: Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
A: another confusing health initiative (see above)


How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

Q: If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
A: Probably would have a good go at it, but im sure the human rights lawers would assist you.

Q: Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
A: Movies are huge, people don't have the effort to climb all the way to the top of a movie so they normally end up just going in half way. TV is small so you can just climb up on top very easily.

Q:Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
A: So they can see more

Q: How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?
A: And why isn't there a woman president and why the hell in the presidential elections dont you get a bikini modeling competition.

Q: If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
A: Their work collegue at the next desk... or nobody because they are having a heart attack.

Q: Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
A: No.

Q: Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"
A: His name was Farmer Giles and he had a fetish for sucking long saggy tits. his wife however had perty little breasts and so in his desperation Farmer Giles would sneak out into the barn for some cow tit sucking... the rest is history. 

Q: Or watch a white thing come out a chicken rear and think, "that ought to taste good."
A: You have to be 21 or older and have parental consent to know that ;)

Q: Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
A: Because you don't go in and out of your freezer several times a day.

Q: When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped buy the police and asked for you license, are you going to be smiling?
A:  Nobody told me to smile. I look like a miserable bastard

Q:Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
A: Yes especially if you take the time to rig up a puppet rig with some string so that on request you can make the corpse wave at passers by!

Q: If the professor on Gilligan's island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
A: He was retarded?

Q:Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
A: Because you'd probably get arrested for lewd behavior.

Q:What do you call male ballerinas?
A:gay Ballerina's

Q: Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
A: Yes.

Q: Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?
A: Thats because your freaking breath stinks! Go brush your teeth and apologize to your dog.

Wow BFG your so original.  ::)

I actually burst out laughing when I read that one.

bugger shade i didn't notice that one :(  (u picky bastard ;) )

If tuna is the chicken of the sea, is chicken the tuna of the land?

Um...no..silly...

Its Tuna of the Dirt brand chicken! So, when you're sure you don't want fish, grab the only chicken good enough to be called tuna - Tuna of the Dirt brand chicken. Look for the chicken with the cowboy on the label!

But Why is a.. a cowboy on this chicken can holding a fish pole?

Well, because he's fishing around for quality chicken! Tuna of the Dirt - the chicken with the fishing cowboy on the label. In the tuna section of your supermarket!

BUT if you're looking for fruit that's every bit as good as our chicken and tuna, then you'll want Turkey of the Jungle brand bananas!

Turkey of the Jungle bannas?? Thats RIGHT! Turkey of the Jungle brand bananas. From the makers of Chicken of the Sea brand tuna, and Tuna of the Dirt brand chicken. If fish grew on treees, they'd be Turkey of the Jungle brand bananas!

Thid is ha-ard!

Nothing hard about it. Turkey of the Jungle brand bananas can be found in the chicken aisle, right next to Pork of the Orchard brand apples. mmm-Mmmm,  This turkey is Good banannas!!!

Uh.. uh.. so, if the apples.. have a turkey on the can.. then.. what does.. what does the can with the bananas have?

Why, that would be the Turkey of the Jungle mascot - Porky, the Scubadiving Chicken!

DUH!

(Krush you stepped right into that one)
 :D

my head's about to explode... damn you sheix, that was the most confusing thing I've ever read.

Agreed, cracked me up, though. Well done, Sheix ;D

OK, but....  if it tastes like chicken, how do we know what chiken really tastes like - are we for certain that chicken doesnt taste like the thing we accused of tasting like chicken ???

My Cats Dog breath smells like chicken wings

For economic reasons, making round boxes out of cardboard is simply more expensive than making square ones.


Over here you aren't allowed to smile on your photo, not atleast so that your teeth are showing. Has to do with some new facial recognition system, the computer would have it harder to recognize you if you distort your face.  :(

Ballet dancer.

See, we have all the freedoms in the world over here!  If you want to make a goofy face on your driver's license photo, YOU CAN![/size]  ;D

I guess we just don't have any goofy looking people over here so it dosn't matter so much :)

my problem with bloody passport photos etc is getting the seat in the booth down low enough so it dosn't cut the top of my head off! Last time i ended up kneeling on the floor.... god that must have looked dogey!

The answer for this one is yes. My dad is a manager at Pepsi and he has said on many an occasion that coke is banned at work.

Yeah, same goes for the auto dealership...You can't work for a Ford Dealer and go out and buy a brand new Chevy.  So unethical! lol[/size]

It shows you don't have confidence in your product and if the people who make it don't like it why should the consumers? =/

it would suck to work at the daewoo factory. YOU DRIVE DAEWOO NOW!!

Daewoo = garbage

Well, it makes sense to drive a car from the same manufacturer that you work for, since you can get discounts, etc. But Pepsi is a bit like ass juice. Drink coke instead.

Agreed Pepsi blows.

i tried Dr.Pepper a few days ago for the very first time and... mmmh, nice. kinda like cherry coke.

I'm a No-Doze and carbonated high fructose corn syrup sugar water person!

Can you cry under water?
Only if you're wearing goggles

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Does'nt matter how important, as long at it is in a public place

If money doesn't grow in trees then why do banks have branches?
Branch signifies the outstreched limb of something larger, hence, the local branch of Bank of America

Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
Because meat is round, but not all bread is square

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for your thoughts?" Where's that extra penny going to?
My pocket

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Yes, thats why you're buried in your best suit

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
How the hell do you make a perfectly round box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?
Freshness

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
People have grandios visions of greatness and being the guy who invented the wheels on luggage isn't as impressive as putting a man on the moon

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
Because babies got to sleep a lot and didnt have to wake up to go to a job at 5 AM that I really hate...

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Yes, because the judge is "hearing" the case, not the deaf person

If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
Yes, but only if they catch you, and only after several warnings

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
(good question.... next!)

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Because they are dumb and people will buy anything if you tell them that it's cool

How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?
You can choose from a lot more then 2 people for president, but if you do, people will call you dumb

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
Politeness

If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
He yells at the guy sitting in the booth next to him

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Except for skirts, all items under the waste are only plural (pants, shorts, etc)

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
Yes - it's noodles in the shape of something.... WOOOPIE

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"
Observation

Or watch a white thing come out a chicken rear and think, "that ought to taste good."
Observation

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Some things take longer to crisp then others

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Because you have a crappy fridge

When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped buy the police and asked for you license, are you going to be smiling?
Comon courtesy

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Because stupid people keep passing it on

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
Yes, but only if the corpse is sitting up front

If the professor on Gilligan's island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Not enough wood, oddly enough

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Pointing to your crotch is impolite

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
Because goofy has an education

What do you call male ballerinas?
Dancers

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?
(good question)

If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
No one would deliver to the south west

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
Delicious little babies

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Yes

Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
No, you're forgetting Disney Land

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Yes

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
I didnt, I know from previous knowlage

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
If only it was the other way around....

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?
He doesn't like your bad breath

Ahh yes, Dr. Pepper, you make the world taste better.