*DAMN R6 Forum

Here is my first go at a Onion-esque satirical news article


Bush Deems World Un-American
French Singled Out
-Washington D.C.-

In an unprecedented speech, President George W. Bush deemed the rest of the world un-American.  ?The resistance to our policies by the inferior nations of the world can only be seen by us as unpatriotic and perhaps even un-American,? Bush said Thursday, ?The French have been particularly un-American in their opposition of our just war.?

Bush did have some kind words to offer in his speech, ?I would like to commend the citizens of the United States for their support or patriotic dissent, you truly embody what it means to be an American.?

One such American dissenter, Indigo Parks, had this to say, ?No war in our name Bush, we didn?t elect you,? later adding, ?Go France.?

Another American supporting the President, Bob Smith, has a suggestion for France, ?If you don?t want to support America, you should move to a different country.?  He then raised a placard with stating, ?Get France Out Of America!?

Meanwhile the U.S. Supreme Court ruled Sweden, ?In clear violation of the Sherman Anti-trust Act? and ordered it to cease and desist offering equal medical rights for all and insisting that health coverage be spotty and favoring the rich.  They also announced that damages in the amount of $100 billion should be paid to Kaiser, Blue Cross/Blue Shield, and the US Medicare/Medicaid treasury among others adding ?We are amazed that such a vulgar violations of the law are happening here in America?

In further legal speculation it is thought that they will rule soon on a class action lawsuit filed by the Coalition of Health Insurance against all socialist healthcare organizations for, as is detailed in the brief filed by the CHI, ?continually undercharging patients.?

In closing out his speech Bush said, ?With the support of God, the father of Jesus Christ our savior, who saved us from death and will roast all non-believers in the eternal fires of hell, we will conquer all those who stand against greed, imperialism, and corruption.?

Hahahahahahahaha.

Ahhh man, great work! I'm a big fan of The Onion, and I gotta say that was pretty damn funny. If you write anymore, make sure ya post them...and not on the figure skating forum, post it here.  ;)

niceone Bondo