*DAMN R6 Forum

Chapter 1.....
"What the hell?"

It all started on a brezzy summer brisk afternoon. The sun was shinning, you could hear the breeze flow through the leaves on the maple trees; it was just one of those days, where being lazy and non-attentive was a benefit, not a problem.

As I was sitting on the porch, sun in my face I decided, hmm this would be a great day to take a nice long walk, and see where it leads me. I get up, throw on a wifebeater, and off I go, walking in the sun in a southwestrn direction. I don't know where I'm going, just walking.

I make a right turn, and head down, a street/area that I have never seen before. "hmmm" I thought, "never seen this place before...o well." I keep walking. As i walk down the worn sidewalk, flashy corvettes pass me by, the sun reflecting vibrantly off the crystal clear paint, bikes wizzing by, being driven by lads with no shirts. All and all a plain summer day.

"Hey Destructo!" I hear.

I stop, take a quick glance around, see nothing, so I continue to walk.  

"No-one knows of the name Destructo but the noobs on GR." i thought
"wierd?!", as I continued to walk.

"Hey Dest!" I hear again, followed by a soft tap on the back of the knee.
I turn around really quickly but see nothing again!

"...down here!"
I look down and alas there is a little midget looking back up at me. A smug face, with a big forhead, fat nose like michael jackson b4 the operations, and an oddly shaped head. He has long arms, with short stubby legs. Kinda like a mini ape,  and he's wearing these shorts that look like pants on him..

"what a wired little man." i thought

He stood barIey 3 feet, and I could see the back hair comming out of the back of his hawaiian shirt. now that's gross.

"Umm...can I help you?" I say with a questionable expression on my face.
"Don't you know me??" he replies.
"Ummm...no, why should I?" I say back
"IT"S ACE!" He said excitedly grabbing at my knees and shaking.

"Ace?" I said....
"Yes, Ace you noob....from GR?"

I pause for quite some time. Looking down at this little midget, who is looking back up at me, with slobber dripping from the side of his mouth.

"Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha" I laugh, barely controlling my bladder.
"Your Ace?!? I said watching the slobber drip from his mouth onto his shirt, my eyes a teary watery mess.
"Yea" he says,
"Your Ace? the guy who thinks he rules Mac Onlime gaming?"
"Yea" he says
"Impressive huh?" he gloats.
"Impressive???....Your a fuckin midget..."
"No, actually, I'm a dwarf" he corrects me.

"Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaha" I laugh falling to the ground with stomach pains.
"Your a midget with an attitude!!"
"Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha"

Regaining my composhor, I slowly stand back up and look back down to Ace, who now has a very angry look on his slobbery face.

"Are you making fun of me?" Ace asks.
"No, there is nothing wrong with being a midget" I reply
"Dwarf"
"Dwarf....sorry"..apoligizing.

Realizing that I now know why Ace never gets laid at school, I wonder to myself what he is doing around my parts?

"Burrrrrrrffff"

"Did you just fart?" I ask
"Yes, I think I shit my pants..beans" he replied.

What a fuckin tool I thought.

"What are you doing in my area?" I ask Ace, noticing Ace is trying to pick a wedgie.
"I came looking for love." he replies.
"your a little homo?" i ask, thinking he came to try to pick me up or something.

"I have expiremented" Ace says "But no, I just came from the DDS."
"DDS?!" I ask
"yea, the Dwarf Dating Service" he replies.

"Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahha"
Still laughing as I say "Did you pick up?...bahahaha"
"Unforunatly, no...i got rejected at the door." he sadly replied.

"Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha" now falling to my knees.

"Why are you laughing at me?" he asks.
"Hey i'm your height!" I reply on my knees.
"Stop it"
"Sorry Midget Ace"...apoligizing again.
"Dwarf"
"Dwarf..sorry" apoligizing.

"Well I gotta get going" Ace says. "It was great to finally meet you in person."
Rolling my eyes, with a smirk on my face....."Umm ya, It was uhh, great meeting you too."
"See ya buddy!" he yells as he turns and starts to wobble downt he sidewalk.
"Bye midget!" i yell back.

"What the hell was that?!?" I thought, watching Ace trip on a crack in the sidewalk, and fall flat on his face.

Dumbfounded, I turn, and I continue on my way..
"What else could possibly happen today???"

STAY TUNED FOR CHAPTER 2, IN DESTRUCTO'S BEST SELLER.:o

...Dest, you have waaaay too much time on your hands. With that being said, well done! It was a shmexy story.

I'm still lmao  ;D

Fuck you Dest. I can't believe you so blatantly lied to everyone about what I'm like. So everyone, listen up. To set the record straight, I am NOT a dwarf. I'm just "vertically challenged."


Hehe, too good Dest. Now where is the one about Jewb, Bucc, and Loth?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

GIVE US CHAPTER TWO!!!!!!!

Very nicely done. Keep it up.  ;D

Only Dest would write something like this.. ;)  Anyway, nice story but I better not be reading about how you met me and kirok and the Timmy's Service stop that summer, or i will come down to guelph myself and bring kirok's paintball gun and perch on yer buddies roof and unleash my fury upon you.

ps. have you thought about going again to paintball?

Could use some editing but I'm sure the book will be a blockbuster in the GR R6 community!  ;)

Sounds good

Dest you need help bro...

How tall are you Ace?

Dest thast f*ckin funny better than jackal's and fox's humping the car story . I hope issue 2 will be better :D

so ace doesn't have to get on his knees to blow me? roxors.

It's not very difficult to write a better story than the one they had, you just have to surpass something that's built kind of like this: 'a humped b and then b humped a' repeated over and over.

I'm confused, did Ace actually meet Desthoe?

This motivates me to write a story on Bucc, as soon as they get that TomorrowLAN place going.

yeah kami then agian i just skimmed the story of fox and jackal's adventure mb you have a little to much time on your hands

You didn't have to do anything but skim the story to get what it was about... or just read the first five lines for that matter.

I have a little fucking GR meeting story for you crack addicts.

"Meeting +StFu+"
Well there I was, in downtown Honolulu, full of sun, modern skyscrapers touching the blue sky and sinking into the blue Pacific Ocean. I was in the giant Ala Moana shopping center, full of tourist trap items. I waited by a grey corner while Polynesians, Asians, and haoles waited for the bus that would take them somewhere in Oahu.
     Then outta no where a silvery grey brand new Acura came into the shopping center. They stoped by the corner, rolled down its tinted windows, and an Asian guy said, " Well what the fuck are you waiting for?" Sure enough it was our buddy Seth (Meth).

"Kak Dela Seth?" I asked him. "Heroshu Yuri." So I got in this strange Asian kid's car not knowing if he was going to rape me or ask me to be his pimp. We arrived at the Punahou School, a well to do private school with a historical status. It had two plantation era buildings from the time of Queen Lilikoulani.

Seth showed me around campus first introducing me to a "supposedly cute" Russophile sophmore. Apparently she was having PMS that day, so she was a shill.

He then showed me around school pointing to people. Seth really likes to point to people, and he looked kinda silly doing it with his Acura dealership shirt on. After tired of walking, we hung out with his little crowd.

After they heard I was Russian they asked me to say, "Anarchy 99" in a thick Russian accent. This was some quote from the movie Triple X that I have never seen. Obviously I got tired of it when they asked me to say it the tenth time.

Then it was off to meet some of the other GR people of Punahou. Out in the slutty stoner crowd there was our freind LoseMoney. I dont want to give out his real name for fear of 12 year old stalkers tring to hit on him. He was a tall Maori boy who was into punk rock. His taste of music was good, and he was a pretty intresting person to talk to. After we got tired of looking for Civeron, our freind Aragorn came to the Asian table and hung around while we played a card game called "BS".

Nick was a cool guy, around 6 or so feet high, he was a paddler in the schools canoing team and a surfer. The next day I would be out surfing on Waikiki with the +StFu+ crew.

On the way to a political lecture I saw Seth point at a kid with glasses and sideburns. He turned his head around and looked dazed and confused at Seth. "Why me?" he must have thought. Little did I know that the dazed and confused boy was none other then our freind Civeron. Good old Civ, the Civinator. Seth gave us a formal introduction as we headed towards the Political lecture with a corrupt Hawaiian politician.


Well I am sleepy and drunk. I got gramar mistakes in there, as well as a wealth of typos and misspeollings. Tell you about the surfing at Waikiki when I feel like it.

Sounds like you had a good time over there in the middle of the pacific ;)